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Enlightenment is to know who you are. It feels like being exposed to the ultimate truth which cannot be fathomed with your mind.
Mind is a RAM (Random Access Memory) and all our life we have been taught that this is the ultimate source of knowledge. But in reality, the mind processes what is received from the universal source. You are so much in conversation with the mind that you have been neglecting the source, all your life.
It starts with the realisation that the mind is just a reservoir of information that is borrowed from the ocean of knowledge. It is stagnant water, decayed, and all our life we are used to drinking from it. It is just information, merely a reflection, a display of the true source. To realise is to realise the degrees of what we have known so far. Happiness and Sadness are degrees of the same emotions. It is the conditioning of the mind that deceives us into believing that happiness is good and sadness is bad. But the water is water, no matter how cold or hot it is. The perception of it being hot or cold is how we define its states. How many times do you say to yourself, that I am in a happy state of mind, or I am in a bad state? Realisation is the point where you come to understanding that, feeling good or bad about anything is merely states of the same mind. You get a higher perspective and understanding of the premise in which the mind operates. That’s why happiness and sadness both are called “Dukha”, in Buddhism. Both are suffering, as one polarises you toward the other. Happiness creates a fear of losing the good state of mind, and sadness longing for happiness. Both are problems.
When you realise the true nature of your mind. You come to an understanding that this is just a pendulum moving from sadness, anger, jealousy to happiness, contentment etc.
In realisation, the mind is still there. You have only realised the function of the mind. A wise person becomes watchful of the mind. He stops swinging with the mind and stops giving it any further momentum. Which is the root cause of suffering. But there is the immense possibility that you will fall into the new perception that this realisation is enlightenment. You can see the world with detachment at this stage, you can see the tricks of the mind. But you are still busy watching the mind and absolutely enjoying the bliss that arrives from being watchful in a meditative state. Most of the seekers stop here. They fall into the pit of seeker dilemma and take on a new identity as a seeker. This is just like changing the clothes. Trading your old bad habits for new ones. But habits are still there. You have just become experienced in tackling the mind. But the mind is still there. This is like reaching the base camp of Himalaya and proclaiming that, I have already reached (as stated in Dzogchen). Most of the people you see around these days are realised people, who are in awe with the experience and preaching on the basis of the emotional value of that experience. This is a false perception and sadly many of the fortunate, deserving good paths have fallen into the trap of this new commercialised instrument of enlightenment.
It takes a great effort after that to abandon your seeker’s identity. This is called the great effort because this is the last effort you have to make of not making any effort. It is all about finding the source of the knowledge that is bestowed upon you. Which facilitates the dynamic expression of your mind body and spirit. Once you find this source, you will see the energy being created out of nothing, which translates into thoughts.
To be enlightened is to reside in the source and marinate yourself in it. So much that, you become the source. All external notions and ideas about the samsara and Nirvana disappear. Even Enlightenment is an idea from here. As it is stated in MahaYana (the great vehicle) to be enlightened, you have to abandon the enlightenment. It is cutting through the delusions with delusions as an antidote. You have to cross the graveyards of Buddhas, holiness and all your perceptions and what characterises as enlightenment. As nothing truly exists, until you believe it does. Shunya (Zero).
What is left after enlightenment?
How does it feel after enlightenment is like asking, how does it feel like living in the idea of living? There is no enlightenment after enlightenment. There are no goals. There is no right and wrong. You let things happen. If you are an artist, you don’t decide what to paint. There is no agenda in writing anything that you write. You become an instrument that plays on its own. As the Koreans say, art is not made, it is born.
No decision is made on the basis of feelings, there are no feelings and there is no-one to feel. The reality unfolding in front of you is merely a vivid display of dynamic expressions. Everything Is empty and yet so in contentment. You enjoy whatever comes your way, might it be war, might it be a kingdom of heaven. The universe within communicates with all the existence through you. In the realisation, there is no ground to be found to stand on. In enlightenment, you abandon the need to find a ground to stand on. No need to have reference to context to decide anything, as the spirit within inspires you to do things that are right in the very movement. You stop doing things and things start happening. You stop doing meditation and meditation happens.
I have left my house now, keep on wandering in the jungles, in temples and ashrams on my bike. Looking at this world in a new way as a new man as no one. Going where roads take me, halt on the bank of rivers to see the moon reflected in the water. I sleep on the banks of rivers, in hotels in temples. No matter where I go now it feels so right. Wandering retreat. A great compassion arises for fellow travellers and people I am meeting on this journey. Great gratitude for all the masters who helped me on the path. They were all one, singing the same song in different voices.
It took me a long time to figure out what had happened. It was all sudden like I was given a language and medium of expression which does not have any grammar. In fact, it was like confronting a language that breaks the boundaries of grammar. That night when it all happened, I felt like a billionaire who could not spend. No identification with self, no mind. I slept awake.
It is the spirit within which inspired me to write this, it is not intentional. This occurs a lot too, as many people I meet on this journey, out of nowhere someone comes up with questions. After all that is gone, all that is left is this. Helping others to realise their true nature, to share the light with them. No matter how reluctant I was at first to even interact with people, it seems to be inevitable now. Not that I don’t want to, but there is not much to say more than what is there to see for yourself. Not seeing for yourself, and wandering elsewhere for the answer is not the way. Every external effort will utterly fail to describe it. But one has to try. Like the monk in the last picture in the Ox herding series, I go to the town, laugh with people, eat with them, and drink with them. I am just available, for the right question, that can transform someone who asks it. No strings attached.