THEY FIGHT AND THEY UNITE

They don’t agree on all things but believe in one thing

We all have a family.

One we were born in and one we chose to belong in.

Community.

Family is a community and Community is a family

“A family can be the bane of one’s existence. A family can also be most of the meaning of one’s existence. I don’t know whether my family is bane or meaning, but they have surely gone away and left a large hole in my heart.”
― Keri Hulme, The Bone People

Families are dysfunctional.

Yet we have an eccentric need to be in a community. It is human nature.

A community is a collection of people and beliefs.

Opinions can vary from person to person.

They fight amongst each other and still, they are united.

Why?

Communities bring people together not to agree on everything, but to believe in something that is common.

This belief is tested by external factors and trolls from outsiders.

It is at this moment, the unity of the community and trust in the common belief is realised.

A country at war is a country united.

But in the midst of this war, one can find it overwhelming to comprehend the premise and sense of belonging.

One can find herself in a situation where her notions of community can be challenged.

It doesn’t mean that you should refrain from your attachment to communities.

There is a saying in my mother tongue (Marathi) which translates to — “Shit happens! Wash it, don’t amputate the butt.”

To be in a community is to experience human emotions reciprocated.

Anger, joy, love, care and whatnot.

This is what makes participation in the community an intimidating experience.

We might not be ready for the influx of information and emotions that flourish in the community.

We might tend to look at everything that is moving and don’t understand where to focus.

I am in groups and communities that have hundreds of people with brave, intelligent and productive ideas.

It can be an overwhelming experience to participate and find your place and share in such communities.

Fortunately, there are baby steps you can take that translate to giant leaps as a member of the community you love.

Intimacy

A community is a place to belong.

You can live without one, but that would be mere survival.

Juiceless life.

Intimacy is the phenomenal aspect of a community which garners hope, faith and support.

To be intimate you don’t need a sea of people floating together.

Join smaller community groups or clubs to create a more intimate atmosphere.

Seek a community with fewer group members.

A community that has gathered together around a very specific topic.

It can be anything that you like.

Some of the examples I can give are aloe Vera, Saluki Hounds, Feathers, and Snails.

You will be amazed to know that people connect with each other on any subject you can imagine.

Use Reddit to find community around your area of interest and you will know.

It gives an opportunity to participate in not only what you know but something you can contribute to.

Boundaries

Communities are families, and they have boundaries too.

I am sure you didn’t share everything with your mother while growing up.

The same goes for the communities too.

Humans like to stay together but they like to have their space.

Respect your own space and others too.

Speak from a space that is yours and authentic.

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you have to be superficial.

It simply means that everybody\’s opinion matters like yours does.

And it is okay to differ from others.

Set realistic expectations for your level of involvement and commitment.

Quality

Not everyone in the community will be your friend.

You might reconcile on a belief, but there are other factors that might influence the relationships and intricacies of community and life itself.

They might be part of another group that you might not approve of or it can be a factor like age.

The goal anyway, is not to be in the good books of everyone.

It is impossible.

Focus on quality, not quantity — nurture a few meaningful connections rather than trying to befriend everyone.

Alignment

You don’t have to be everywhere, everybody for everyone.

Find your passion and lead with it.

Attend events or activities that align with your interests and passions, making it easier to connect with like-minded individuals.

Self-care

Many people I have seen tend to go too far with their participation in the community.

Might it be a WhatsApp group, spiritual commune or physical events for social causes?

You have to find a place for the community in your life, but not otherwise.

Don’t make any one community goal in your life.

Life has multiple facets and dimensions.

Respect that and live a fulfilling life.

Don’t be hard on yourself. It is okay to let go of some things and treasure some.

Practice self-compassion and allow yourself to take breaks when needed, understanding that it’s okay to step back temporarily.

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