BRINGING MYSELF HOME
How Walking, Fashion, and Self-Love Are Reclaiming My Life
![](\"https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*SVZ_0hdMsD5qT_2h\")
I love fashion.
Clothes are to the body, like thoughts are to the mind.
You can have wonderful thoughts, but some days are filled with bad ones.
Meditation can bring you to the naked state of awareness.
A state in which everything is an extension of nothingness.
Miraculous.
At the core, we are nothing.
The thoughts are dynamic expressions of the mind.
Your style is an extension of who you are.
I spend most of my days in Boxers and a T-shirt.
My closet is almost empty. I don’t go anywhere.
The trees in my garden don’t mind my attire.
I wear jeans for evening walks.
A friend visited me yesterday, and we discussed books and the cinema on my balcony.
He said, “You write well, but the images on your blog are not up to par.”
I can’t agree more with him.
I don’t have any intellectual justification for not dressing up.
It was a moment of introspection.
It was not always like this. I used to dress well.
Ladies would gossip about my looks, and my fashion photographer friends would use me as a model for their portfolios.
Until I fell into the trap of spiritual materialism.
Ignored my health, gained weight and lost interest in good style.
I fell more in love with words and started writing more often. But that is not the point.
Spirituality and creative expression should reflect in all aspects of life.
In the business, in gardening, in the writings and in the style.
I want to step up and dress up.
I want to get rid of the limiting beliefs that are keeping me from taking care of myself and my body.
Now I don’t mean that I will go on a shopping spree and buy things that I don’t need.
To be frank, I don’t even know what I want regarding fashion.
I do have some fantasies, ideas and inspirations.
But I don’t want to copy and force it on myself. I want to adopt and evolve.
One step at a time. Without pulling a stunt like before and after pictures.
Much has changed in these years. Earlier, I would have dressed to impress.
Now it is more about honouring the body as the temple of the soul.
The flower, incense, lamp and the idols and symbols bring holiness to the temple.
Everything complements one another. I want to compliment myself.
I don’t want it to be a deliberate attempt.
I have taken off my robe for the same reason.
I don’t want to compete in the mystical fancy dress competition either.
It has to be something functional, as well as assimilating to the currents of the modern world.
Let’s start with the body.
It can be deemed superficial and antibody-positive to speak about a healthy body.
That is not a healthy thought.
It is just an excuse not to exercise and take care of the body.
Said so, I wish everybody had a sexy body.
I don’t mean to buy the next flashy workout regime. No, don’t go for the Spartan workout program for the grannies next door.
Take a walk, that is a good start.
Slowly, steadily build upon it.
Some people are comfortable running, and some people prefer hitting the Gym.
I am more inclined towards body resistance training.
Lifting weights and running throughout my lungs on a run is not my thing.
It’s not the vehicle and instrument I am concerned about.
I am 100kgs as I am writing this, and I want to be 75kgs.
I want to take steps towards shedding those extra 25 kgs.
Given the scope of the distribution of unrealistic expectations about the body, it is very easy to fall into the trap of having a photo-perfect look.
It is critical to understand that millions of dollars are pumped into the looks to make them desirable and sellable.
If they were solid, they would have sold without an advertisement.
At the end of the day, the lifestyle in the pages of magazines is all about selling the chase and not he catch.
How long you want to chase the chase is up to you, I am not to judge that.
My definition of fashion is looking the best you can.
Shine your diamond and let the world see the sparkle.
It sounds lucrative to have the body of a person you look up to.
The fashion models or the superheroes.
It is not rational. It is not logical.
You will never have it, no matter how many jobs you do on your body or trim the bones.
What you bring forward, working on your body, is unique to you.
That is the most beautiful realisation.
It’s not about being inspired by the desires, but to inspire the desire to be yourself.
This is the aspect that is holistic to the seemingly superficial act of losing weight.
It becomes an instrument of self-discovery and meditation.
I am starting today. Without an aspiration to be perfect at it.
Perfectionism is the one big hurdle well need to leap off in all aspects of life.
Life will keep on happening. The work we do is the never-ending story.
Living a purposeful life means honouring your true calling.
Especially your calling to live a holistic life.
Life that strikes the right balance between mind, body and soul. The three gates to enter the realm of spirituality.
Life that is as above, so below and as within as without.
If it rains, walk. If the sun burns your skin, walk. Walk, as it is the only test to live.
With the adversities, with the pleasures served on your plate. Walk.
Be aware of your steps, and you will find solace in everything you do.
Might it be something required of you, might it be that you require to be done?
I have this urge to get in shape and decorate my body with the best possible fashion I can.
It is the nature of nature to grow.
If a rose is potent to bear flowers, it will bloom.
If a tree is given a chance to bear fruit, it will.
Nature never denies an opportunity to grow. It never disregards the well-being, despite its fragile nature.
It finds beauty in impermanence. Face the sun with open eyes and bathe in the rain of the storm.
Be.
Like nature. Ready for the challenge and opportunity to grow.
The body of what is seen is deeply rooted in the hidden roots of spirituality.
You are what you see in the world. What you are is seen by the world.
I want to let the light shine through. I want to share the light.
Moreover, I want to be more approachable.
The tree that shares its fruits grows more trees.
The body is one aspect of human existence.
Apparently, for me, it happened to come last in the list of Mind, Body and Soul.
But a person on a spiritual path must conquer all three.
One at a time or all together.
I have only one road map to conquer the body. Walk.
It’s easy, it’s simple.
It is natural to me. As natural as writing.
I can add more things to it as time and resources allow.
But the foundation of building a healthy body is walking for me.
I will lose weight. I will spend more time with myself.
I will lose the little clothes I have in the closet.
The things that are lost make space for the new things in life.
It is an opportunity to make an aware attempt.
Just like at the beginning of meditation, you attempt to stay still and be watchful of your thoughts.
The more and more you go into meditative space within, you become the meditation.
Let’s lose it all and let it become what it is meant to be.
I am standing between the better version of myself. I step aside.
I allow myself to be more life-positive and body-positive.
I allow myself to disappear completely and let the divine take control of the health and fashion aspect of my life, like every other aspect of my life.
Like many other things in a spiritual life, this is also about letting go.
The belly I have is nothing more than the insecurities I have about relationships.
The urge to munch on a snack is a need to feel safe.
I would be a hypocrite to say and write so much about spirituality and live otherwise.
I would be dishonest to myself if I didn’t embrace the fears and uncertainty in life.
The excess that I am not releasing will keep on accumulating in my body.
The fear, the anger, the rage, the desire for revenge as a victim of life. Everything needs to be realised.
I am sticking my neck out when I am writing about these inner conflicts.
It is therapeutic and many ways. But it serves a better good of being honest with you, the readers.
Said so, I want to build an empire of trust with you in the attempt of these writings.
This is the very reason I have chosen to write personal blogs, instead of those “SEO friendly” corporate musings.
I have so much to lose. And I am happy about it.
I am not running in the race.
Giving up on choosing one niche and hoping to succeed, I have decided to write a personal blog, which is rare to find these days.
Well, that is not the topic of this blog, but I needed to add it as we are talking about losing.
Will anything change?
Yes, in the sense that everything is constantly changing.
And so will the course of change.
I have done this many times. Gained humongous weight and lost drastically.
But this time is not going to be an egoistic drama of ha hu exercises and penance to the body.
This is an opportunity to fall in love with the body.
It is not about pushing the boundaries and seeing how far it can take the pain.
It is more about how it can facilitate life as the only wonder in the universe.
It is about finding the new horizon within, and using the body to do so.
It is acknowledging a dimension of our being.
Unknowingly, I have spent a lot of time inside myself.
I say unknowing because when I found myself, it was a surprise. Serendipity.
After that, I have spent most of these years discovering what has changed inside.
A realisation that occurred without a religion and faith, I spent much of the time finding answers for it in the scriptures.
The only place I wanted to look was inside.
The lamp to the idol is the light on the soul.
I please myself when I praise god.
God has nothing to do with it because I have nothing to do with it.
I am bringing myself home, one more time, by taking care of the body.
The body is the strongest belief we have.
People who realise that release the body too.
Like fragments of the light.
Rainbow body.
Resurrection.
I don’t know where I am going with this, and I don’t want to know.
Let’s go there together and keep it a surprise.
One thing I can be sure of is that this body can no longer take the assault of boxers, tees and crocs.
It can be decorated with more than that and less than the societal norms of Narcissists and perfectionists.
It can be more ritualistic and meditative, and less like a regime.
A skip, not a march.
I don’t want to chase the waves of trends and the best of the season either.
I am assimilating to the seasons of the body.
The body, which extension of the Earth, is part of the Earth.
The body is a creative expression of the divine and adoration to the soul.
The body is a confluence of materialistic ancestry and spirituality.
The body that bonds the intangible into something representational.
This body is a representation of love.
Let’s take care of it and dress it like the priest dresses the idol, a representation of god.
Stay inspired with thought-provoking content on spirituality, philosophy, and creativity. Subscribe to and elevate your journey today!and elevate your journey today!
Originally published at https://satyajett.blog on April 27, 2025.